Hey, Fat Girl

I found this post a few days ago and I had to share it. Every time I read it, I get a little emotional because that is exactly how I used to feel and still feel sometimes. And in case you didn't click on the link and read it, I'm going to post it here:

Hey, Fat Girl

Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home.  You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

You are awesome.

If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

I bow to you.

(Copied from FlintLand.blogspot.com)

Being overweight is difficult. And unless you've been there yourself, you can never truly understand what it is like. And while the process of losing weight and becoming fit is extremely challenging, I think the most difficult part is starting.

I hear so often how someone wants to go to the gym, but they are too embarrassed because everyone there looks great and can run forever or lift hundreds of pounds. It makes me sad that the gym is such an intimidating place for so many people. Maybe if those "fit" people were a bit nicer and more encouraging, there would be less overweight people because they wouldn't avoid the gym anymore.

It's so hard not to compare yourself to other people. As I walk on the treadmill, thinking I did awesome for doing it for 60 minutes, I can't help but feel inadequate as the person next to me was running when I got there and is still running when I leave. But it also helps me push myself. I want to be that person someday!

In January, I could barely run a quarter of a mile without needing a break. I was embarrassed and intimidated by others at the gym. But I knew that the only way to get anywhere close to where they were was to keep going back. So I did. It's been 5 months and I've lost about 50 pounds. And in 4 days I will be running a 10K and I KNOW that I will run the entire thing and enjoy it.

I've come a long ways, but most days I still feel like that "Fat Girl". I've been running and training for about 4 months, yet I am still a super slow runner. It's frustrating when you hear of friends that haven't run in years that decided to run and the first time ran 3 miles in 30 minutes. Or when people complain and say they are terrible at running because they run at 6.0 mph pace. I hear that and it brings back feelings of inadequacy as I can only run at that pace for a short period before I have to go back to my dreadful 5.0 mph pace.

But, like the post said...I am a runner...and NO ONE can take that away from me. I may not be the fastest runner, but I am a runner nonetheless. And I will continue running.